They describe themselves as a regular couple, but theirs was hardly an ordinary wedding. On January 14, 2001, Elaine and Anne Vautour arrived at the Metropolitan Community Church of Toronto in an SUV, with security to deal with protesters. The minister, Brent Hawkes, wore a bulletproof vest. Both excited and nervous, Elaine and Anne, and another couple exchanging vows that day, Joe Varnell and Kevin Bourassa, became the first lesbian and gay couples in Canada, and the world, to marry. The packed church greeted them with a standing ovation and an outpouring of love that still overwhelms them.
"I felt like a complete Canadian citizen," says Elaine. "Our relationship was authentic. My brothers and sisters all married. My parents were married for 50 years. I simply wanted what they had. When we married, I had full rights, the same rights as any other Canadian."
Their subsequent attempt to register their marriages with the province instigated a legal battle that saw marriage rights extended to same-sex couples in Ontario on June 10, 2003, and across Canada on July 20, 2005. Like many other gays and lesbians that year, my partner and I felt that Canada had become the coolest, most progressive place on the planet, and we were deeply proud.
But we also decided we would not be traipsing down the aisle in our sensible shoes any time soon. For one, the opponents of equal marriage keenly reminded us that the institution and its sidekicks – including more conservative factions of church, community and family – had hardly been kind to gay folks. Court battles unleashed a vitriolic spew that mocked and vilified us. With members like that, who would want to join the club?
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